Too Awkward To Function

Dear Reader(s),

You have probably figured out from the last two posts that I am not a natural writer. My sentences, aside from being grammatical catastrophes, have a very odd flow. My wording is too wordy and confusing, I spurt from subject to subject randomly with absolutely no transition. Heck, you might be reading a paragraph about houses and then BOOM- random sentence about beavers. If it hasn't  happened already, consider this a warning for the foreseeable future: it will.

The thing is, it's not just my writing that's choppy and hard to follow. That's how I talk.I stumble on words and occasionally the entirely wrong word will come out in place of the one I wanted. My mother has told me it's because my brain is processing faster than I can speak.I wasn't always this way. I used to talk to everyone about everything with no problem, but I've gotten older it's gotten progressively worse. In 2010, I could look into the eyes of a total stranger and we could have the greatest conversation about anything under the sun. Now if I were to bump into a stranger, not only would I go out of my way not to create any opening for conversation, it would be pain painstakingly obvious, I've reviewed old social media conversations and asked friends for their input, and the verdict is in. At eighteen, I became too awkward to function.

It would be one thing if I just stumbled now and then. Stumbling is fine. Anime has deemed stumbling adorable. But it's not just occasionally, it's almost twenty-four seven. And the more casual I try to be, the worse it gets. The more I stutter and sound like a raving lunatic. At times it's so bad, I've had people stop me mid sentence and tell me to rephrase everything. It's especially bad when I'm talking to strangers or I'm at the store. Oh, lord. It's at it's all time worst in two situations:

A) Checking out at a store.

"Ma'am, would you like paper or plastic?"

"Yes."

..."That didn't answer the question."

B) Ordering food

It's gotten so bad in restaurants, my boyfriend will get my order and tell the waitress for me because otherwise it takes me two minutes to get my order out. On top of the stuttering mumbling mess that is my speech, I'm indecisive, so after I actually manage to say what I mean, I'll change my mind. The very thought of going to Subway stresses me out. Too. Many. Options.

What do you guys do when you're feeling awkward? Do you have issues communicating with others? Join the club, we're getting jackets! :D

That last statement was a lie. I'm poor and can't afford club jackets.

Thanks for reading, lovelies! See you in the next one.

Sincerely,

D